just a link (math/science and gender)

to a blog i've linked before:

Math and science versus femininity.
[...]
What if the perceived cost of opting out of science and math was as high for the typical American 13-year-old girl as it is for the typical American 13-year-old boy? (Note that this is not just a matter of how the 13-year-olds in question imagine their future trajectories and the role math and science might play in those trajectories. There's a lot of feedback that comes from teachers, guidance counselors, parents, peers, TV shows, and such.)

What if the perceived cost of opting out of science and math was as high for the typical American 13-year-old girl as the perceived cost of opting out of femininity? (Anyone who has ever been a teenage girl can tell you about the cost of opting out of femininity. Undoubtedly, anyone who has ever been a teenage boy knows something about the costs of opting out of masculinity, too. Teenagers, and those who herd them, can be pretty intense about policing boundaries of gender conformity. This is just one of many reasons that junior high sucks.)

What if masculinity and femininity were generally taken to be orthogonal to interest and ability in math and science? This would mean that opting into, or out of, masculinity or femininity would be a completely separate issue from opting into, or out of, math and science. Your decision with respect to math and science would neither count for or against your opting into or out of a particular package of gendered characteristics. And, the costs of opting into or out of math and science could be adjusted independently of the costs of opting into or out of masculinity or femininity.

my own two "favorite" anecdotes about this (not entirely "american," but still):

• being told by my dad to be careful that after grade school boys would get ahead of me in math (then when that didn't happen it became middle school and junior high, then high school - and by the time college rolled around, i'd sorted things out enough to let him know how i felt about it); he says that he told me this to make me more ambitious and aware, so that i wouldn't let it occur. even if that's true, i know that the way i took it was that i believed it would work like divine intervention, because i just didn't see how else this truth that my dad was telling me would actually come about. it amuses me now and it always amused me somewhat, but had i not been really self-confident (in no small amount due to my dad, i must say), had i not loved math to an extraordinary degree and been consistently really really good at it, and had my dad's "encouragement" worked on me as a self-fulfilling prophecy, i might've been crushed.

• in college: being told by the boyfriend of a childhood friend, as she and i were reminiscing about the good old middle school days when the two of us were the best in a class that was famous for its math skills in our town (because we had a great teacher and always qualified for the national olympiads), that "yeah, sure. we all know how it is with girls and math...". at first i was shocked to hear him say that and it's something that's stayed with me. i felt sorry for him more than anything - i guess the jab was his way of reminding us that he was there. the fact that he was a philosophy student makes the whole thing even more hilarious. unfortunately i didn't have a witty comeback (i just told him it was a ridiculous comment). he was one of those guys... the clearest indication that his intelligence impressed everyone was that he told you it did - pretty pathetic! all in all, i can't say i was too affected, but that comment did make me wonder how many other people had the same ideas about girls' worth, and just weren't as forthcoming with them... and it disgusted me.
  

i think one of the best tools that girls can be given to deal with this type of crap is learning to laugh at absurdity and not to doubt their own judgment, feelings, and reality. to not give in to pressure and disparagement. same as for boys. and i think it applies to all interests and expectations, gender-related or not.