i'm an orthodox

oh, yeah. and because i am (and an oh-so-practicing one at that), i feel i should start getting into the easter mood. wait, the easter mood is supposed to be somber, right? anyway. this story should help either way. ('cause it's, simply put, the best thing ever written.)

"Jesus Shaves" by David Sedaris (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
-> an excerpt:

"Excuse me, but what's an Easter?"
..."It is," said one, "a party for the little boy of God who call his self Jesus and...oh, shit."
... "He call his self Jesus, and then he be die one day on two . . . morsels of . . . lumber."
..."He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father."

"He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples."

"He nice, the Jesus."

"He make the good things, and on the Easter we be sad because somebody makes him dead today."